The children modify their parents’ behavior, and not the other way around, as is usually thought. Yes, as you read. It often happens that parents are the only ones subjected to behavior modification processes, which are provided by children, whether they have autism or not.
In this article, we explain everything about it. Keep on reading!
Autism and parents: behavior
Not everyone has the knowledge, the disposition, the time, the patience, or all the skills that are necessary for the learning process of a child with autism. And if nobody explains anything to you, nobody advises you, and no one guides you, there are many chances that you’ll be making several mistakes.
In many cases, the children have perfect control of their house. They do what they want, get away with it, and they can do things that other children are not allowed to. The main reason for this is the autism. We can’t forget that the children with autism are, above all, children; therefore, they will do the things that children usually do.
The misbehaviors of the children with autism are encouraged, or awarded, or allowed, or excused since the child has autism. The result: the child has no limits, no discipline, and learns to get what he wants, when he wants, and in an inappropriate way.
How to prevent our son from modifying our behavior?
We must be very clear about what behaviors we want to eliminate, and to what point we have encouraged them. This is something to consider: we could be the ones encouraging these behaviors, without realizing it.
- Don’t give in to requests out of place.
- Don’t turn the child into the center of attention.
- Ensure that the child understands what you want him to do.
- Be tenacious and coherent. Nothing is worse than not allowing something today but accepting it tomorrow.
- Teamwork and constant communication with the therapist or school. Establish the same guidelines and limits in all contexts of the child’s life.
It’s important to avoid being managed by the children, this will lead us to very complex situations. Controlling the behavior of children with ASD is not easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible; having professionals who support and advise us is always a great help. But don’t forget that a teacher or therapist only spends a couple hours with our child, while we parents are with them all the time; we must strive to educate and establish a good relationship with them. This will result in a good quality of life in the family.
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